There are years of my life I can never get back. Time, that is one thing that is taken from you, stolen from you, that can never be replaced, or returned. Time is something you only have so much of, it’s infinite and yet you are only given this finite portion to do with whatever you choose. Time is a quantity a commodity, you can spend it, you can exchange it for money through investing in a job, you can enjoy it. You can also hate it, every second after agonizing second, reliving past mistakes. The memories you didn’t make, the times you were not around, the college you didn’t go to. Opiate addiction, more specifically my opiate addiction made it impossible to have those good memories to be there for my friends, to go to college like the other students my age. While that was going on in their lives I was alive in my own grave, isolated in some dingy basement or abandon house somewhere wasting my time getting high on heroin.
Diamorphine is the proper scientific name for heroin; it was first invented in 1874 by C.R. Adler Wright, who was attempting to make a more potent less addictive alternative version of morphine. Heroin was made from parts of the opium poppy plant, a plant that is still used today to make many different narcotics. The original idea for opiate derived drug was to treat pain or help manage pain, for patients who have experienced severe trauma. I don’t think, C.R. Adler Wright could have imagined his invention creating a bunch of junkies that seriously don’t care about anything decades later. Junkies, I remember that term from the “dare” classes when I was a kid. Those stories and videos used to scare me, I thought if I ever did drugs and drug back then I’d die, back then I could not imagine for the life of me why anyone would do drugs. I never thought I would have an opiate addiction, that i\’d be on the streets waiting for more, that I would do anything for money.
Years later being clean and sober I look back at those times, what little I can piece together, and I just wonder the same thing… why? What reason or motivation would anyone have to take these horrible drugs, and alienate themselves from the rest of the world? Spend every day in the gutters and slums, with some of the most disgusting degenerates anyone, could imagine. All the other people who were there with me, with their opiate addiction. I wonder if they ever left more than why they came to use opiates. I know why I left, I wanted my time to be used for something better than laying around on some floor high on opiates. I wanted to see my family, go on trips, take college classes, have a pleasant, normal life. So I chose to do that with my time, I made my choice, and it\’s clearly the best way to spend time is out living life enjoying it. Rather than just enjoying lifeless addiction.